Improving Personal Appearance

I’ve known for quite a while that my appearance has an impact on other people as well as in my own self-confidence. And I let it slide during the past 3 or 4 years. I’ve gained a lot of weight, I’ve let my teeth go uncared for, my skin does not look nice and clean.

From now on I promise myself I will take excellent care of my body.

Here are the steps I will start taking in order to get my body back in shape and my confidence back as well:

  • Teeth
    I’ve actually started my treatment last week. To fix everything I need to fix will cost me almost $13,000.00 – and that’s only the part I will have to pay for, as my insurance covers around 60% of the total – lots of work to be done! But it is worth it. I don’t really recall the last time I felt confident enough to smile a big smile, without being self-conscious about my front teeth being in a different color from the rest of my teeth, or that I am missing two teeth in the back of my mouth.
  • Body
    I need to lose between 10 and 15 pounds. My weight is basically located around my waist. I have a nice belly, which I intend on getting rid of. For this to happen I need to go back to the gym and make it part of my regular schedule. I know the idea of going to the gym is almost physically painful, but I have to picture myself feeling good about myself again. And going to the gym is the only way to accomplish that.
  • Skin
    Mostly I need to keep my face clean. I have lots of very tiny black heads, and sometimes I get so much grease on my skin that I have those hideous pimps full of fat. The idea is to use a deep cleanser and maintain a regular washing schedule (in the morning during shower and at night before I go to bed).
  • Nails
    I do not bite my nails, but I don’t take good care of them, either. My solution? Have a manicure and pedicure once a month. It is not so expensive, if done on a monthly basis.

And that’s it for now. I don’t think I need to do anything else besides these points, which should improve my overall looks tremendaly!

Wish me good luck. I will keep you posted on my progress.


Week of 07/28/08 – 08/03/08

  • Go to the gym (at least 3 times)
  • Call dentist and schedule an appointment
  • Do something fun after work this week (at least once)
  • Keep on looking for a higher paying job
  • Check what tests I will need to take to be accepted at BMCC
  • Tag/move PCF photos
  • Work on my job description
  • Study for wine course (maybe go to a local Starbuck so I can focus)
  • Work on my wine blog
  • List items on eBay

My Procrastination Is Over! Or Is It?

Do you want more proof of how much of a procrastinator I am? Just check out my two entries so far!

They were both written on the same day, March 12th 2008! It’s been almost 4 months since! 4 friggin’ months to write anything.

This needs to stop. I mean, the whole point of this exercise is to keep track of the things I want to accomplish in life – the name “Diary of a Procrastinator” was supposed to be an alert, a red flag, something that would make me reflect on my past actions and work on my present and future endeavors.

Now, in order for my procrastination to be done and over with, I believe I need to create some sort of journal or another way that will make myself commit to a schedule of some sort. I am still not very clear what I should do, but I will think of something, maybe list my goals, what is stopping me from accomplishing things, set dates, etc.

I will do my best to update this blog as often as possible. This may help me keep my promise to myself! And who knows? This may change my life!

I am not that bad, am I?


I had this really awful conversation with my mom the other day (over the phone, thank the gods!) and after we hung up I could not stop thinking about it. Basically the conversation was about where my parents are in their lives – they are fairly old, mom is around 73 and my dad is around 82.

Anyway, I told my mom that they should not count on anyone else but themselves to fix their problems. I live in another country (another continent, for that matter) and I am trying to fix my own life.

That got me thinking even more about my own future. Comparatively, at my age they were much better off than I am now…and look at them today? They are in such a bad shape! I am freaking scared for my own future.

Then I had a conversation with my partner, who is the best person I could have around any time of the day. He is a very intelligent guy, very funny and loves me a lot – yay! Jackpot, right?!

So, he was trying to figure out exactly what is going on on my mind, which I don’t really know. Anyway, I talked about my parents, especially my father who was never much of a role model to me, although I love him dearly. The whole Freud thing came up, with me blaming my mother for the problems I have now, yadda, yadda, yadda.

He told me that whatever happened, happened. It is past and I should move on. I am clear about the things that happened in my past, so let me work on these issues and move on. Good advice, huh? I think it is. But it is fucking difficult for me to change. It is physical! I get home and all I want to do is to watch tv and be a vegetable. It is soooo easy to be a vegetable. Even though I have thousands of plans and ideas and things I want to do when I get home…ha-ha! Just try to get me out of the couch? I will probably bite your ass!

But there is a light at the end of the tunnel – which I do hope is not an approaching train. We had a benefits fair this week at work. Basically there were a bunch of service providers whose main focus were to help us figure out what we need to do regarding dentistry, insurance, commuting to work, banking, etc.

I now have an appointment with a new dentist, with an eye doctor, with a nutritionist, and with a podiatrist! And I have my blood pressure checked – 126 by 86 (a little high, she told me. Probably because of the two cups of coffee I had before 10am). I am hoping the nutritionist will be the solution to all my problems – please tell me what to eat so I can have the necessary energy to complete all my tasks without groaning!! Please, please!

It took me over 3 years to start this blog!

…this delay is a perfect example why I called this blog “Diary of a Procrastinator.”

I am 40 years old. I live with my boyfriend (which I deeply love and appreciate). I don’t own a car. I still pay rent (for my credit, I live in New York City, which is probably one of the most expensive places on Earth). I have a 9 to 5 job I don’t much like – and my dream is to run my own business (at least I think this is my dream). I have no savings. I am never the first one to call my friends (they call me – thank the gods for friends!). I pay my monthly gym dues, but never go.

In short: I am a mess! Not a big one. But a mess nonetheless.

My goal here is to try to figure out why I am the way I am. To change the things I don’t like. To incorporate attitudes I like. To create a method to finish things I start. And to plainly just bitch whenever I want to. People may like what I write or not…although I do care what people think, this is not the place for me to be nice. I want to be able to say whatever comes to my mind without being judged by anyone. I hope you are kosher with that, because if you are not, too damn bad!

Hummm….this last couple of lines are a little off, don’t you think? I am not usually bitchy like this, but it is nice to have a place I can write anything I want.

So, forgive me for my short written Tourette attack. I am usually a nice person.